Thailand

Thailand, Land of Smiles, Temples, and Questionable Traffic Laws.

Thailand, often dubbed the “Land of Smiles,” is where modern chaos meets ancient serenity. Whether you’re escaping winter blues or just chasing Instagram-worthy pad thai photos, this country has something for everyone. Let’s break it down, because planning a trip to Thailand without a roadmap is like driving a tuk-tuk blindfolded (not recommended).

Thailand is nestled in Southeast Asia, bordered by Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia, and Malaysia. Bangkok, the capital, is your likely entry point and a city so alive it might actually be sentient. Beyond Bangkok, you’ll find pristine beaches in the south, lush jungles in the north, and, somewhere in between, floating markets that make regular markets feel inferior.

• Cool Season (November – February): Dry, sunny, and slightly less humid. This is Thailand’s peak season—perfect weather between 25-30°C and the crowds to match. Bring patience.
• Hot Season (March – May): Temperatures soar (around 35°C), and so will your need for air-conditioning. Great if you’re a fan of sweat.
• Rainy Season (June – October): Expect daily downpours. But hey, fewer tourists and greener landscapes—just avoid planning outdoor weddings.

Bangkok: Temples, street food, and traffic jams so epic they deserve their own Netflix series.

• Visit the Grand Palace, but prepare for a dress code stricter than your grandma’s Sunday dinners.
• Sample street food at Chatuchak Market and question your life choices while eating fried scorpions.

Chiang Mai: For when you’re done with Bangkok’s chaos.

• Explore ancient temples and interact with elephants ethically (read: no riding).
• Attend a lantern festival and wonder why your hometown doesn’t do this.

Southern Beaches: Phuket, Krabi, Koh Samui—take your pick.

• • Go snorkeling, diving, or just burn to a crisp under the tropical sun.
  • Full Moon Party? More like Full Morning Hangover—proceed with caution.

Festivals and Events

• Loi Krathong (November): The festival of lights, where floating lanterns illuminate waterways.
• Songkran (April): Thai New Year, celebrated with massive water fights.
• Vegetarian Festival (October): A colorful event featuring traditions in Phuket and other cities.

• Tuk-Tuks: Fun for the first five minutes, terrifying after that.
• Trains: Affordable and scenic, but don’t expect Swiss punctuality.
• Scooters: Popular but risky—this is where you test your travel insurance

• Pad Thai: The gateway drug to Thai cuisine.
• Som Tam (Papaya Salad): Sweet, sour, spicy, and possibly life-changing.
• Mango Sticky Rice: Dessert so good it’ll make you question Western sweets.

• Respect the culture, temples are not selfie backdrops, and monks aren’t tourist attractions.
• Bargain at markets, but do it with a smile. It’s not a UFC match.
• Avoid pointing your feet at people or Buddha statues, it’s considered rude.

Let’s be clear: your shoulders and legs are apparently unworthy of sunlight in certain situations. Bikini tops, plunging necklines, and shorts that scream ‘beach party’? Absolutely forbidden. So, wear something your grandmother would approve of or bring along a scarf or sarong. I personally use a cheap travel towel, which can also be used as a scarf or blanket! Because nothing says ‘respect’ like wrapping yourself up in what could double as curtain fabric.